If He Stays
by Servant of Fire
Summary: Tag to "I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here" Sam completes the Trials. The angels fall out of heaven and land in Hell where the doors are slammed shut. Because of this, no one is left to lift Sam from his coma. Except for a choice Death gives the younger Winchester. Parody of the YA novel If I Stay
1. Chapter 1

**If He Stays_ **

**Tag to "I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here"_ **Sam completes the Trials. The angels fall out of heaven and land in Hell where the doors are slammed shut. Because of this, no one is left to lift Sam from his coma. Except for a choice Death gives the younger Winchester. Parody of the YA novel _If I Stay _

"Don't feel so bad…" Sam hears his own voice saying as Dean pulls him into the car.

He's not aware that this was hours ago. That Dean is currently sitting beside him in the hospital. That the world spun out of control.

"I mean, it was always pretty clear it would end up this way." Sam is smiling at his brother in the light of some other world's golden afternoon. And it only now occurs to him that he's standing beside the road somewhere. That he's standing up to his bare ankles in the snow that somehow isn't cold. There are tears on Dean's cheek. He's shaking him with all his might.

"Sammy!" Dean really is shaking Sam. Sam is coding again. For the third time in two days. The doctors are fighting for him, but there's no way to know if he will hang on.

"You know that he can't really hear you, don't you?" It's Bobby's voice. Sam turned to face Bobby. When he turned back to look at Dean, his brother was gone.

"Bobby? What…" Sam stares at the cold and open road ahead of him. It's like the road is cold but the snow under his feet is as soft as the feathers from a pillow fight. Soft, sleepy, mesmerizing. He could lay down right here… He could slip away into the quiet of this ethereal place that is both winter and summer. Sunlight and shadow…

"Sam, let me show you something, son." Bobby holds out his hand. Sam holds his breath, wondering how he's here. He comes to Bobby's side. Bobby nods over his shoulder.

That's when Sam sees the inside of a hospital room.

"No! Get off me!" Dean is fighting with the doctors.

"Dean! Wait_Sorry, he's my um...He's our brother_let us in." Cas, Kevin...And Charlie all crowd to the bed.

"Dean, you gotta let go so the doctors can do what they need to do." Charlie's voice is incredibly calm as she grabs at Dean's shoulder. Cas takes Dean around the waist and pulls him away from the bed.

That leaves Kevin staring down in horror at a body in the bed that Sam already recognizes. It's his own.

"You've got some pretty tough choices to make, kiddo." Bobby smiles. Sam feels the strength go out of his legs, but he nods.


	2. Chapter 2

**If He Stays_ **

**Understanding_**

There's so much about it that doesn't make sense. Dean in the hallway beating the crap out of a medical poster. Cas and Charlie trying to convince Dean to hold it together. The fact that his job is done and he could leave now, but he has lost everything and doesn't have anywhere else to go.

He sits beside the body in the bed. Kevin is no stranger to vigils, to silent contemplation of things too big for his brain. From honors to a prophet, he was always studying the profound. Yet this thin quivering line between life and death...This was something he didn't really understand.

The doctors have gone just minutes ago. They don't know what happened but the EKG is stable for now. They tell the family to say their goodbyes. This Sam guy to them is just another stiff that's not likely to wake up.

Kevin plucks at his jeans. So much has happened in the last two days.

"I don't really know how to say this...I'm not big on speeches." Kevin clears his throat, and another sob rises.

"I was a little bit pissed at you guys for so long...And now, now I get it. Now I understand everything that you've sacrificed in your life, Sam." Kevin looks back at the bed. Back at the face that is intubated now, the oxygen tube having given up hours ago. He feels his breath catch. The frail corpse-like shape in the bed is nothing like the friendly giant that he knows as Sam. Kevin shakes his head.

"I get it now, Sam. If you go tonight, I get it. But the hole you're gonna leave in your brother is gonna be the same size as the hole that ripped heaven in half." Kevin gets up too upset now. He runs from the room.

Sam's spirit leans against the door, head spinning. He stares at the body in the bed.

"Look at you, lazy jerk." Sam stomps over to his body.

"Look at you and what you're doing to the people you care about." Sam's shoulders slouch.

"And in the end, maybe it's not in your control." Sam feels the first little trickle of fear go up his spine.

"It could be." The familiar British accent says from the room's window.

Sam spins to see Death leaning on his cane.

"What?" Sam holds on to his chest. He thinks there should be a breath there. He finds that he is the breath that he is holding. That his life is no more than this vapor.

"I give you tonight and only tonight to decide. Stay or go, Sam. If you stay, you will find your way back to this room. Should you choose to go, come and find me." Death smiles.

Sam feels his whole body reel as he lands bare feet first in the middle of a red dirt road.


	3. Chapter 3

**What Happens to Heroes**

Dean could not be consoled. Kevin could not go back. No one noticed as Charlie slipped inside Sam's room.

"So_you did it!" Charlie tried to keep her voice from dipping and breaking. It came out like a little girly squeak. She bit her lip as Sam didn't answer. Sam who now looked just like her Mom did the last time she ever saw her.

Charlie sat down with a copy of _The Hobbit. _

"I knew you would, Sam. Nobody could have done it better." The tears start in her eyes. She twists a strand of ginger around her finger, pinching it for dear life and luck as she leans over him.

"Sam, I've been in enough hero stories now….and read so many more that...I know how it goes. I know what happens to heroes…" Charlie closes her eyes not wanting to even think the answer.

"But...honestly_I_I'm not ready to give you up!" The admission rings in the room. Sam, of course, doesn't move. The EKG goes on keeping a quiet tempo, causing the suspense to rise in and thrill like an orchestra of desperation.

"See, I lost somebody recently and...Letting go...I realized that's the easy part." Charlie's eyes fill up with tears. She clutches her book that is riddled with coffee stains and the mascara lines of a thousand teary nights beside her Mom. The same echoing feeling that she now fears will happen if she says goodbye to the younger of her two big brothers.

"It's going on living that's the hard part. Living...Without you, Sam. I can barely even wrap my noggin around the thought of that. I mean, who will I geek out with about stuff, huh?" Charlie is getting progressively more scared. Her voice is chirpy, echoing like birdsong into the eery quiet of this place. Sam would have fired something back now. Something snarky and dry with the underlying tone of exhaustion that was intonated by his every action. Sam Winchester, if anything, was completely pulverized by his life's responsibilities. It seemed almost cruel to ask him but_

"Please don't go yet, Sam...Not yet, okay?" Charlie is crying now. Harder than she has in years. Crying for her new family and a thousand good memories yet to be made.

"Not yet, Sam...Not yet. I'm not ready…" Charlie closes her eyes. She knows what happens to heroes.

_They die…_

"Please don't go, Sam. I know you don't owe anybody. If you decide to be a little bit selfish, no one will blame you. I mean, after everything you've already done? Beating the devil, saving the world type stuff? But...But...Dean…"

Good God, what will this do to Dean?!

It will be like losing them both.

"Please don't go, Sam. Not yet...Dean's not ready either." Charlie clears her throat and wipes her tears.

"Okay, I'm gonna read to you now, got it? We're gonna read the part we were texting about, not the beginning. The part where Bilbo sneaks in on Smaug? You can sneak past the dragon and beat Death, Sam...If anybody can it's you." Charlie nods as she leafs through pages.

"I just wanna say that I believe in you. I've held your story in my hands too, Sam. I know...I know that you can do this."

Charlie's not convinced, but the EKG keeps on singing. As long as his heart is beating, however frail that might be, then maybe they've got a chance.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Highway to Heaven**

It always confuses him when he sees himself on this road. After all that he's done or failed to do, he should be the last person they let wander down this path, right? Yet somehow Sam Winchester is on the highway to heaven again.

He only knows that when he hears excited barking. He feels his ears prick with happiness. He'd know those barks anywhere.

"Bones!" This time there's no one here to get angry or to misunderstand. Sam can just be happy to be here with his dog. The excited pup darts out from behind a tree and runs to Sam.

"Bones! Heya, boy! C'mere!" Sam hits his knees and slides a home run to the dog as he licks his face repeatedly. A thrill goes through Sam's spirit and he lays his face in the dog's hair. It's warm here on the road to heaven. It's only getting warmer…He can smell the kitchen. The kitchen in the home he never lived in_not even once. His mother...His mother who he never got to meet will be up that way. So will Jess, he realizes. He smiles the thought dancing before his eyes like a birthday candle's wishes for a second.

_I'm not ready to give you up! _

"Charlie?" Sam leans up. He feels Bones burrow his nose into his chest. The dog hasn't heard Charlie's voice. He's just happy to see his young master again.

"I don't...I don't wanna go back yet?" Sam feels his heart sinking. He loves Charlie and listening to her sadness makes him want to cry. And yet….Yet he can't just tear himself away from the warm call that the road to heaven is offering him. The smell of Thanksgivings and the promise of having the crusts cut off his bread for the first time...It's almost too much.

_Please don't go yet, Sam… Not yet...I'm not ready. Dean's not ready either._

Dean.

Sam hesitates for a moment. He stands up looking sadly into Bones' eyes.

"I don't...I don't know what to do?" Sam looks to the dog's sad eyes for guidance, but he can't decide for him. The choice has got to be Sam's...And for the first time this choice is next to impossible to make. Because for the first time he has an equal desire to live as he does to die.


	5. Chapter 5

**Human**

Castiel digs his fingernails into the bed rail and watches as blood wells up. This is stupid. Stupid, frustrating, agitating.

But he can't even hear Dean's prayers as he went in the chapel to shout down God for this. He can't reach out and simply heal his dying friend as he lays there the color of newspapers...He can't stomach this. For the first time in forever, he is simply human.

"Sam!" Cas whispers. A tiny whisper, a thought. Something he can't contain. He wants to...He wants to save him. To say something profound that will make this okay. But there's nothing that can do that. There's nothing that can correct this. If Cas can't fix this if God won't stop it…

"Will you look at me? Powerless…"Cas bows his head, biting his lip. He can almost hear Sam forgiving him. Resigning himself to the fact that this is the way that this has to be. That this is how it has to end.

Maybe it's not directed at Sam, but Cas is angry. He reaches out and takes Sam's shoulders. He pops Sam's cheek thinking that will wake him.

'You fight this! Damn it, if anybody can save you it's yourself! You've beaten the devil and locked up Hell...You're more an angel than I ever was!" Cas shakes Sam, shakes him until his hair has fallen over his pale face. Then a thrill of fear tears through him, remembering the horrible tube shoved in Sam's throat. A tube that is the only thing besides provenance keeping Sam holding on to life. Because Castiel no longer can. Because his grace is hidden somewhere random_and the one who did it is locked up in Hell now.

"All the ways I've failed you...We've been here before, haven't we, Sam?" Cas falls back into the bedside chair. He remembers another time that his friend was dying in a hospital. Of mental torment at that time. To an extent, he was dying at Castiel's hands. Cas broke into tears, something new to his human experience.

"All the ways I've hurt you…" Cas takes Sam's hand now under the sheet.

"Wherever you are, you will forgive me. I know you will. Because that's who you are. Listen to me, damn you! I don't want your forgiveness, Sam! I want you to come back. Fix this. Fix what I can't…" Cas bows his head to Sam's chest and cries.


	6. Chapter 6

**Time to choose**

Sam hears a shout from Castiel's heart. It shivers through his body and makes his head throb. So much so that he halts on the highway to heaven and turns aside to a church.

What Sam doesn't know is that his spirit is trapped in an illusion maze Death made for him. In this maze, the church is actually the chapel of the hospital. Sam has unwittingly walked into the biggest trap there is. Into the sight of Dean...Dean who is rabid with grief.

"Now you listen to me… If you don't give him back...I will find you. I will rip you off your fluffy little cloud and_!" Dean turns over a pew in his anger. He didn't mean to. He stares at it confounded.

"Dean?" Sam feels the warmth from heaven evaporate. This room is cold and filled with fear and anger. And pain. Sam watches Dean in horror, replaying all of his failures.

"All of the crap that has happened with my little brother. Damn him! That little bitch has caused me more heartache than I can_"Dean clutches his chest and hits his knees.

Sam feels his guts twist in a knot. Anger makes the walls catch fire. Maybe it's just Sam's soul responding, he's not sure. He wants to run from this room. Something about this is almost too much to face. Yet...Yet he can't tear himself away just yet from what Dean is saying.

"First it's his curse_then...Then he drinks demon blood and chooses to side with a freaking witch instead of his own family to stop the Apocalypse. And look how that backfired!" Dean grips the altar, shaking his head. His shoulders tremble with anger. The flames leap and dance in this blazing church. Sam feels tears catch in his eyes. Despite the fact that the room is in blazes, the flames are stone cold.

"Then, I'll be damn if he doesn't jump in Lucifer's freaking magic box...And...I can't...Damn it!" Dean smacks the altar over.

Sam stands on trembling knees as the fire rolls and goes out. Dean has hit his knees in the mess he's made. Someone will come and help him clean up this demolished sanctuary, or the hospital orderlies will kick him out.

Sam nodded. It was time to make a choice. And he knew what he should choose.

"I know...I know, Dean. I've caused you enough pain. That's why...That's why I have to go." Sam nodded, uncertain if he was making the right choice.

"Dean!" Cas runs into the hallway. He doesn't know what the flatline means exactly, but the loud beeping the machines are making is frightening.

"Someone come quick! Come quick! I don't know what's happening!" Cas feels the breath go out of him as the doctors get to work.

Dean feels his heart kick into high gear. He is afraid to go in there, but...If this really is the end.

"Sammy?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Taking Turns**

Dean runs and falls. He busts his knees on something_ a book from the pew he flipped. He doesn't know or care. Blood runs down his leg and the rip in his jeans as he gets back to the room.

"I think it's time we talk pulling the plug on him." The doctors are saying.

"Wait!" Dean begs as he pushes his way to the door.

"Mr. Winchester?" The overly polite doctor grits his teeth at the sight of Dean. He has been rowdy and this staff has other patients to look over. They can't possibly understand the level of grief that this family member is going through. So much more than the rest.

"Wait, I_You let everyone else get a turn...I didn't get my turn yet. To-to you know…"Dean looks at Sam's face in the bed and swallows. Did he do this? Did his yelling scare Sam's spirit that was still somewhere hovering out of plain sight?

"Alright_Yeah, alright. We will wait to unplug him until you're ready."The doctors nod at each other and quietly exit the room.

"Like that will ever happen…"Dean gasps as he stumbles over to the bed. The EKG goes on wailing. The doctors didn't even bother to turn it off.

"Sammy, can you hear me?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Running Out of Time **

Sam finds his way back to the main road. He can smell it. The warmth of a homecooked meal wafts his way. Soon he will be far away from the anger. From the pain and betrayal and frustration that had crippled his life. Maybe he will find grace where he's going. That's a big "maybe".

But now that he's on his way, he doesn't really want to go. After the talk they'd had in the church, he thought that maybe he and Dean could work their problems out.

"So, you've made up your mind?" Bobby has joined him on the path.

"I think so, Bobby." Sam bites his lip, undecided.

"Well, you know, out there in the regular world, you're running out of time. Either you make the choice or the way of nature is gonna make it for you, huh?" Bobby smiles at Sam. Sam can feel his kind eyes on him. It reminds him how tired he really is. How much easier this way is.

"This has gotta be the right thing to do, Bobby. I mean, I've pulled a lot of crap on Dean. You know, I thought I was doing the right thing each time. That my choices would help bring about the best thing for him. I always ended up failing him in the end…"Sam shook his head. He doesn't want to think about it. This could be another one of those times.

Bobby insists on reminding him. '

"Are you sure that this ain't one of them times?" Bobby halts in the road. Sam pauses with him.

"I thought you were here to take me to the other side or somethin'? What, are you trying to talk me out of it?" Sam lets out a soft huff. He is tired. Dazed and confused. What he heard Dean yelling about in the church has taken the wind out of his sails. He's pretty sure that he should go now.

"No...But I don't think you should decide just because your brother was ranting. He's angry and scared that you're leaving. So, he's spitting out years of things he's had pent up. Maybe you don't need to make your choice based on that. Maybe you need to make your choice based on what will be best for Dean in the future…"Bobby nods. Sam hesitates. He hadn't thought of that until now. Always so caught up with the past.

"Sammy, can you hear me?"

It's Dean's voice, cutting across the vale.

"Dean?" Sam freezes there in the middle of the road. Never in all his life has he been so conflicted.

Far away in the world of people, the EKG stabilizes.

"Hey! Hey, this machine is doing something new…"Dean's voice, sounding scared like a little kid, calls out. Sam can hear it like its coming from underwater.

The doctors are completely confounded. Sam hears them muttering, chattering to themselves.

His spirit snaps back to the hospital room.

"Maybe your presence is helping him hold on? We don't know...Just...No more outbursts, okay?"The over polite doctor with the shark-white teeth pats Dean's shoulder and leaves. Dean looks back at Sam.

"Hey...You and me gotta talk, okay?" Dean takes Sam's hand in his hand. He reaches over and straightens Sam's head on the pillow, fearfully fiddling with the tube the doctor's neglected to make sure it's not moved out of its proper place. He smooths Sam's hair back in place.

Sam quietly lights into the room and sits down in the chair opposite Dean. He might not be able to reply directly, but he can at least hear him out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hold On**

_**This chapter is named after the song of the same name by Chord Overstreet. It played on my shuffle while I was writing this and it seemed to fit. **_

"Hey…"Dean clears his throat. It already tastes like liquor. Like all the liquor he downed in the days following Sam's death and descent into Hell. He can't think about it yet. About after. Because there really won't be an after_if he should go.

"Hey, Sammy…"Dean closes his eyes. There are a thousand things he wants to say. Even for the man that has been given so many second lives, he feels the weight and press of it. He is running out of time.

Sam shifts awkwardly in his chair. Death has come to wait by the door. Sam looks up and meets his eyes. For a moment, he has peace about it either way. He can choose to go if he wants. He will have a guide for the other side.

But is it time to go?

"Please...Sam...I don't know how to say all of this. I want to say I'm sorry. I'm not really. Not sorry for being pissed at you. Being so pissed at you so many times! Not because of the things you've done or haven't done. But because of times that you and me have fought over. Things we should have worked out first!" Dean chirps back a sob. He grips Sam's hand so hard Sam feels a slight prickling in his spirit's hand.

"I want to yell at you, but I can't do that now. Sam, I can't...If this is really you giving up on me, then I can't be mad. Because I will never get another chance to tell you anything...I just...If you're here...If your spirit is nearby, please…"Dean closes his eyes as tears run down his face. Sam feels butterflies in the breath that he is. He puts his hand out.

"I am...I'm right here, okay? Say what you need to say, man...I won't go until I've heard you out." Sam nods. Dean nods as if he heard him.

"Look, I've been kind of a drill sergeant to you over the years. Made the same mistakes with you that Dad did sometimes...Sammy...I...I tried to control you because the thought of you being caught up in their demonic games was too messed up...Because the thought of you...of losing you…"Dean bows his head tears now splashing on Sam's dying face. Normally, that would have made the younger Winchester nearly leap from his skin at the sudden cold. Now all he could do is watch as his body's face didn't flinch.

"I don't know how to say that I love you because it's hard for me to put crap like that into words. But if you can hear me, you know that. You know that I've always wanted to just tell you that now. And I…" Dean bowed his head.

"Listen, here's how it is. I can't imagine losing you. I just...I have temporarily before. It was a nightmare. It made no sense, okay? A life without you is not a freaking life. I just...There's just no me without you." Dean reached down and took both of Sam's cheeks in his cupped palms.

"I can't...I'm not ready. I'm not ever going to be ready to let them turn off these machines. I'm not ever gonna get used to them taking off with you on a table. I'm never gonna be able to let these freaking tubes and pumps and whatever keep you alive...For God's sakes, Sam…" Dean shakes his head.

"Look, it's like this. I won't control you anymore. I won't make choices for you. I won't chaperone you. Okay? I can't do this without you, but if I've got to...If I've got to give you some space to keep you...If I got to let you choose something other than this life...If there's something about our lives and the demons that make us that's keeping you from coming back to your body...Sam...I'll let you go your own way if that will bring you back." Dean bites his lip to the point he draws blood. Sam stares at him in disbelief. Dean is bargaining with him to make him stay.

"For God's sakes, Sam...It's...I know the choice isn't up to me. If it was...I'd take you home. I would just make us a home. One where we can move past all that crap, and...and start over with…" Dean shakes his head. A violent spurt of anger tears through him and he kicks the bed.

"Damn it, Sammy! I can't believe that I'm gonna freakin' admit this...I'm not strong enough to do this again…" Dean's eyes are filling up with tears all over again. He feels like he's been kicked in the chest by one of the Horsemen.

"I don't know where you got the stupid idea that I can barely do this with you. Or whatever the hell you said. But I do...I do need you, Sam. I need you with me because I can barely hold it together without you." Dean's voice cracks.

"Get your lazy ass out of bed, damn it!" Dean tries to shout but his voice cracks. He beats his hands into Sam's chest. Sam's head bounces up and down on the bed, fanning his hair everywhere. Dean immediately regrets what he's done. He takes his hair and smooths it down.

"I want you to stay...Please...I know I can't make you...I want you to stay…"


	10. Chapter 10

**Time_**

"The time's up now, Sam. It's for you to decide. Stay or go…" Death slowly walked toward Sam. Sam stood up, wiping his hands on his knees.

"Please...Please come back… Come back!" Dean is begging. Dean never begs. Sam feels the tears rolling in his throat, threatening to crush it like a soda can.

"What should I do?" Sam looks at Death in desperation. Death shakes his head.

"I'm afraid I can't advise. This is your choice, Sam."

Sam swallowed. All of his life flashing before his eyes. All of the good parts, with people that were long gone. His life as a baby with his mother. His life as a little child. Life with Dad_the life that could have been that is. His future with Jessica that never was but could be in heaven. Even Jo and Ellen and people he'd known not so well. They danced around him calling out to him like the sea calls out to the shore.

Sam's ears are filled with their voices. The celebration_The heroes welcome that awaits him on the other side. But his eyes are filled with Dean.

And suddenly, all his life...The only life that really counts. With the only person that could talk him back…

An Impala floating over every American highway. Gun slinging, blood flying. The burs of metal and terror and war and grief. Demons around every corner. Running from the law. Gunning for the quota…

A pair of green eyes that burned like Infinity.

Sam can see the others now in the hallway, but they pass like shadows_like figures from a dream. Cas is on the ground, legs crossed, head between his knees, clenching his scalp in absolute despair. Charlie and Kevin_who don't even really know each other_are clinging to each other now. He loves all of them, but they are like beloved characters out of fiction. Characters that led him here. To the edge, to the place where his story ends. The color of them fades away. They are swept up in the white out of Eternity rolling.

The stress is too much. Sam stands up straighter when he feels it. His body gives up. The machine flat lines. The doctors are floating in.

"Please come back...Please...Dammit, Sammy!... Hold on, I need you. There ain't no me if there ain't no you." Dean's hands knot in Sam's hospital gown.

The doctors unplug the machines. Sam sees them pull the tube out of him. They unhook all the machines. Dean doesn't let go. No one has the heart just yet to make him. Sam sees Dean slap his face. He beats his fists into his chest. Sam can't feel a thing. He only sees the doctors all look at each other, mouths moving as they fight over who is going to pull Dean off his dead little brother.

"Now or never, my boy. What will you do?" Death's gaze meets Sam's. He holds him with his eyes, his inviting eyes. Heaven is waiting. Sam would never need to feel pain again.

But he'd be lost without that pain. Without that pain that slit his wrists on those grass burning green eyes that meant life on earth. Life. This maybe was his choice. It wasn't easy. It gutted him and blazed across him like a fever but_

Sam felt burning pain.

"Gah!" His body was gargling. Grass blades like knives. Grass of the earth's envelope sliding open. He was being forced back into the atmosphere against the sheer clutching fist of nature.

He was back. Alive. Fierce hands had pulled him through the white to the other side. His eyes opened on that green. On teary green eyes that looked back in complete wonder. Shocked by the bolt out of the blue that had sat Sam up.

"What the HELL?!" The head doctor smashing into the EKG as he took his chest in his shaking hands.

"Sammy?" Dean's voice shaky, high pitched like the first cries of a newborn eagle.

Feet tramping the floor as Charlie, Kevin, Cas all stumble over each other to the doorway. Crowding in to see him…

"Ain't no...Ain't no me if there...ain't no you." Sam gasped, eyes rolling in his head at the shock of his own voice. His hands got their strength back as they clutched Dean's face. Dean's jaw had dropped open.

"And...I need you too...Not that life...That life I never got. You always...You were always...the one…" Sam swallows and starts to cough.

"Okay, hey, don't talk! We need to check up on you!" The doctors try to come at him. Sam waves them off.

"Please...Please...I need to...I need to tell him. All of them. I'm not...I'm not ready to give you up either. To be selfish. I'm not ready to let go of you guys either...It would be too easy…" Sam looks to his left. Charlie is there now at his side. Kevin behind her smiling. Cas is patting his shoulder_shaking as humanity gives way to relief.

"Sam?!" Dean takes Sam's face. And once again, Sam's eyes that are swimming with terror and frustration at these hovering medics focus again. On the green lanterns that are his brother's eyes. That basically just raised him from the dead. That are running over with joy tears now.

"I'm not ready to let go of you...Not ready...Please? Can we...Can we do this again? Start over?" Sam's whole body is shaking.

Dean wraps his arms around his brother fiercely, holding him through racking coughs. Everyone else steps back. It's impossible to say how the dead brother has just sat up. How any of this had happened. But Sam is alive and if he's alive then that means there's a chance.

"Shh...Okay, Sammy. Okay...We're gonna do better this time." Dean closed his eyes.

_Hey...God? It's me...Dean Winchester...I guess I owe you a second chance too now._


End file.
